dearest solar plexus,
my darling stomach. my precious tummy. my belly rolls. i love you.
my dainty pooch, my curvaceous cellulite, my sassy stretchmarks. i love you.
i am releasing you. i have held so much pain inside of you. it is in you that expectations have been sitting, that fear has been feeding on itself. it is you that i have abused. it is on you that i have fretted and stressed my self-worth to the extremes. you have been so so strong, and i am so so grateful. i love you. forgive me for holding the worries of the world atop your delicate skin. forgive me for berating you in the mirror again and again. i can even remember when it began. i was around age 9 or 10, when i saw your reflection in the spout of the bathtub. i played with you, and thought you looked like a smiley face, which amused me at first, then made me cringe. my friends didn’t have bellies that smiled, why did i? i thought something was wrong with you. i thought something was wrong with me. i would stuff you to the brim and ignore you, eating my emotions up instead of working through them. i’d wince at your dimples and frown at your jiggles. forgive me for hiding you and holding you back, for making you uncomfortable. i learned how to hate you from an early age. how to hate me. i have held much anger inside of you. resentment, unworthiness, guilt, and fear have all found a home in your soft folds.
i am changing my tune for you, now. i just wanted you to know, because i care. you deserve a beautiful song.
i want to thank you for being so very patient with me. i love you. i am learning so much about you, and about me. i am breathing deeply with you, letting you relax and setting you free of guilt and shame. i know that i am worthy of listening to my inner voice; a voice of the purest love. i am worthy of my own inner guidance. you are worthy of unending adoration. you are more perfect than i ever could have imagined. you are much stronger than i ever gave you credit for, when i looked for muscle definition instead of spirit definition. i love to touch and caress you, so soft and gentle and absolutely mighty. my divine womb, safe within your hearty space. my stunning core, effortlessly holding me together. my physical center. you have held such benefit that i’d been blind to for so long. my intuition. my gut instinct. i honor you, for you have always led me to what i know as safe and true. i hear you and i listen to you. in you, hesitation and fear is transmuted into creativity and security within. you are my guide, and i stand in your truth. you are my power center. “to thine own self be true.” i am.
i love you. i love you. i love you.
your creator,
mama grae